Wednesday, April 06, 2005
wow.. days since i blogged.. its lyk dis k.. everything went wrong in a few days.. EVERYTHING!!! from parents to school till even my own self and body.. first up"parents"
my dad found my cash reserves.. all of it.. damn 450 dollers all gone to the stupid drawer.. its still mine and i can use it, but whats the point??? where is the independance of choosing what to buy and when and for whom? i'll ahve to tell them that? for what?? damn.. then, i was instructed to da this and that.. damn.. i hate it.. u get me, I HATE IT!!! fine.. i still lived.. then, MY DAD FOUND MY DARN BLOG!!! yes.. all my info all just swiped in a minute... i did not delete the history and i think he found it.. but i guess he did not read it all.. then, the next morn, i deletred the whole thing.. all my lovely stuff.. all gone.. nvm. then he came up to me and asked, "did u delete it?" of course i did!!! well.. thats for parents.. and the y are pushin mye into the wall to study like adog everyday.. damn.. this sux..
school.. was pretty fine.. till mr.annoying does his wierd stuff.. calss me names, takes my shoe away, and other stuff which would normally cause a person to get up, clench his fist and shove it right thru his face.. but somehow, to mr it does not feel right.. so i did not.. i juts let it be.. all the times.. sigh..
myself.. well, i am starting get fat again.. my pacs(if i have any to begin eith) are simply disappearing under my skin from the neglect.. and my hands are turning soft and supple.. like girls ones.. i mean the muscles.. sigh.. need to train more.. MORE.. MUCH MORE>>>
and as for my retartded love life, i had a simple crush.. don noe why, but it kept me going thru all these wierd events of school and my actions of my parents.. i felt quite normal and happy.. i was damn high due to her.. and as usual.. i am subjected to the same blardy scenarios..
SHE, likes someone else, ME, will have to forget HER.. then ME, has problems in doing so and now i am miserably pathetic.. so tada.. here i am.. sad lonely and depressed.. not really, but i sure am.. i need someone to laugh with, someone to crap with, someone to hold my hand and go to lalaland with.. sigh.. but alas. that day is so darn far... till then, ill keep myself busy and stiil live thru life...
o ya, and i said everythin was fien and i was happy right, even though my money went away, my blog was found and stuff, when i found out she likes someone else.. i seriously, literally cried.. don now why, after a while it felt wierd.. but my instant emotions were, anger with sadness and defeat.. sigh.. life sucks.. actualy it doesen't// arhwwww. i don noe lah... sigh.. so much for a firtst post...
-Aayush
