Wednesday, June 22, 2005
I stand alone
Many a times I have asked myself why I do not have a definite circle of friends. Like a group of people whom you would mix with comfortably, call and ask out, share you experiences and joys with. That kinda thing. Now, one may ponder, why do I all of a sudden mention this. Well, a certain key events made me realize my position as of thus. Lets see,.. the first one was after a chem. Spa. I asked certain classmates whether they would wanna go watch a movie. But alas, due to one girl, the trio said nope. Just because she knew she screwed up her spa, she also screwed up my day. Then, later, when I called up one of them, they said they were watchin a movie. Ok fine. Forgiven. Then recently, after rugby finals, the same bloody thing happened. The class went out for a movie and I was not invited even when I had shown due interest in the morning. Alas, this one really got me and now I always think before even associating myself with my class. Then, at choir concert, I saw 3 groups of people, like cliques, in which I had a considerable amount of friends. None of them even asked me to go along lah.. I was like a wee bit hurt. But I was on duty so I got to watch it anyway. But I do have some real good friends like Nadim, whom has always given me advice for the best and sorta put determination in me. Abhinav and utsav. Abhinav never let me down and has been like me love guru kinda thingy. Yup.. and I think that’s about it you know. lol .. I mean got a whole lot more.. but they are all on and off, all talk to you when they need something or in distress, but when everythin is fine, they’ll wave hi and just walk off. Fine. Be that way.. but there has to be a reason for this. That is what keeps buggin me. Maybe its my likes, like metal and goth, maybe its my race, that’s wht makes ppl uncomfortable around me. Maybe its just plain me, Master Aayush Sharma, whom not only scares people away but also creates in them a strong sense of hatred and anger at first sight. God is so not pickin up his phone right now.. like whenever I ask him questions pertaining to this, I get this sorta reply “just wait. Just wait.. I have everythin planned” well, my dear lord, I hope your plan unfolds real fast. Cause I ain’t no Achilles or Robocop who stands all alone and is able to withstand all the abuse, at school and at home. Manik has always been sucha pain in the arse. Like throwin my bag around, tryin to piss me off, hidin my shoe, like wtf man!! Grow up!!! Seriously. But even when he may seem to make my blood boil, I just don’t do anything.. seriously.. no punchin, not even a counter attackin remark.. I just stone. Cause if that’s what makes him happy, to see others in distress, then by all means sir, go ahead, be happy. And the politics in school!!! Omg.. seriously man.. I mean like don we all have a place in it equally? So why shun others aside? Ha. Nvm that.. don really wanna talk about it.. remember barker essentials,
www.barkeressentials.blogspot.com? Unlike the rest of the people named, I did nothing. Sure as hell got taunted and teased a lot.. hey bling bling came shouts numerous times. Like I care man.. the blog sure did not bring me down.. but I felt reall sorry for the creater. I mean come on boss, I thought we were acsians? Nvm. It shows your true nature. Always trying to put others down. And the exxageration and lies. Man.. god help rest your soul. Maybe you just find fun in makin a mockery outta others. Well, then go ahead, dosen’t affect me. But it does show a hell lot about you.
-Aayush
