Monday, September 26, 2005
prelims ended with a bang. my results made my head wanna go bang. got it from my parents and totally felt useless. wth. nvm that. its like 40+ days left and i still can't get to serious studyin. i am just too tired of chasing paper qualifications and pleasin everyone. i just wanna have fun. i just wanna live. maybe its too early. maybe i'll grow up and regret. but i really can't study. don know why. and since prelims results came out, have not talked to god. as in haven't prayed for really long. should i? scared i`ll say something offensive to the almighty. but why is life so unfair? maybe i am just a super whiner and i should shut the hel up like a normal person. would things get any better? if i be optimistic would i be better? i really need to get nack into my spiritual life. don noe how. i might need soome outside help. but no church thingy plaese. not ready for that. just some simple prayer to say i recomit my life to jesus. yeah whatever. too stoned to do shit. been gymmin like 5 days a week. don think i look bigger. but the pimples on my face are gettin though. should i just pump steroids? or should i da it the hard and natural way? well, hard and natural it is. sigh. another day at school. soon i`ll be out. gonna miss it, gonna not miss it. lets just cherish wat i have. the friends, the void deck, the fattenin food, the teachers, the stairs, the lift and the security guard. and of course, THE GYM!!!
-Aayush
