Wednesday, January 18, 2006
got the call again.. but today was much more fun at assumption english school. i did relief teaching for a couple of classes. and i did 2 P.E relief classes!! damn fun.. played soccer with them.. how the ppl have become so well behaved. its actually more of my incentive giving. they are like hooligans and in a sec, when i offer them early dismissal, they all just shut up with pin drop silence. had to reief a sec 5 class the other day. was a bit scared cause in my sec 1 and 2 days, i always kanna bully by the sec 5. a psychological fear lah. but hey, i enjoyed my time with them and like basically gave them 2 hours of free time. damn fun.. today, a real cute baby from my buildin, maya, came to our house and her mom left her there cause she had to go pick someone up. and she was so adorable. i mean i love kids. sorry if you dont. but i do. and she seemed so sweet and playful. i was like doing totally retarded things to make her laugh. if u had seen me then u`d think i was a monkey!! her hands were so tiny and small, like 10 times smaller than mine. and everytime i`l give her my finger, she`ll grab it real tight and will not let it go. really cute. i mean there is this glaze in her eyes everytime she smiles, and playing with her and makin her happy like totally drove my worries and tiredness away. all my stress and bad moments seemed to have disappeared around her.. haha.. wierd.. but then yes.. as expected.. .she pooped in her diapers and tada!! we had to send her to her maid upstairs. was a fun day though.. its like these moments that i live for you know. those few ethereal and heavenly seconds that seem to pass by so slowly and nicely that you can savour and appreciate them fully. i have also decided to make my next post a bit serious.was thinkin of writin it today but decided not to cause of the happy events.. if tomolo is gloomy, i`ll write it. i don want to but NEED to cause i feel its like a burden on my chest. not a confession, its like a series of questions and like thoughts that i keep trying to subdue in my mind. and yes, one thing i realized today, " In my pursuit to be the best at everything, studies, looks, style, etc, i forgot what was most important, friends, and ppl who love and care for you. " del, nadim, ian, praveen,daniel, judy,the council buddies, classmates, other schoolmates. i never really made and effort to be nice to anyone but myself. i have basically lived in self pity at the fact that i was not this, not that, and constantly trying to outwit and outplay others.At the end of it all, these paper qualificatons might get me money and might get me some temp happiness. but at the end of the day, it wont get me great friends or a true lover. I guess i`ll just take my achevements to the grave. damn.
-Aayush
