Friday, March 03, 2006
So here I am,
sitting Alone in the dark again
What a perfect fucking metaphor
I'm so tired of this I know
I have no reason to feel this pain
but Of course I can't stop it now
It's nights like this when
I don't want to hear solutions
And my dreams just tease me
With promises of a better tomorrow
That isn't today yet
And patience isn't one of my virtues
What, you mean this isn't normal for me?
Either I'm damn good at hiding this or
I spend a lot more time than I like to think
Lost in my head
Angst may be fashionable these days,
but I'd much rather be a happy geek
yeah. fine. i admit. it was my fault. i should have studied 25hours a day. i should have focused more. i should have had no CCA. i should have made freinds with people who score much better than me. i should have only talked to them and associated with them. yes, i am fucked because of what i did myself. no one is to balme except. not even God. He just sat and watched the wretched one go to waste. i am fucked. totally. now i can only get bread and water for myself. dreams of getting bread, jam, butter and lemonade for my family are over. I probably did worst in school. but i did give it my best. just that it was not what they required. too bad life is determined by a single fucking piece of paper. this shall haunt me for life. suicide aint a option. its such a easy way out. its better to live with the pain and suffer daily and die a miserable death knowing you were fucked from the begining. yes..
-Aayush
