Saturday, March 18, 2006
so much shit to do.. uni applications, where and when to apply. further must think wtf i wanna do. like with my fucked up results i doubt i can do shit. but if there is a God, please show me your plan and not let me rot like i am. for some reason i feel unforgive and forsaken. i admit i am happy at times but most of the times i feel like shit. i just wanna get back to life and its way. sick of slacking around. i just need somebody proper to talk sense into me. i cant go on living the way i am. went zouk the other day. for black and white, the phuture party. outside, this guy like came up and said" hi, we are looking for some "good looking" ppl to do the catwalk and stuff on the 31st of mar would u be interested?" i was like wtf? my fin was the worst one i ever had, i was wearing a retardedly small obey shirt and i had pimples on my face, been breakng out lately. sigh. nvm that. army starts soon and i need to be prepared. physically i doubt i ever will be but mentally and spiritually i think i can be. looking at my books of poems i just felt like shit again. its all so confined, so weird. i write like some kid in sec 1. maybe i should stop writing them for the benefit of humanity. haha. damn.
-Aayush
