Saturday, June 24, 2006
got posted to sispec bravo company.. sigh.. thats all i can say.. spent a week there and mine is the ONLY company to get confined in the first two weeks. sigh again.. but luckily i got silver for napha and passed my TSR test for which you need at least 90/100 to pass!! haha.. and i got nights off. thats basically tht i have to be in camp REAL soon.. and this week i have 3 SOC sessions.. each one can be like 5 full SOC.. sigh.. hope i survive.. its hard to do this all without any support at all.. NO ONE.. i got no girl now and i have no friends other than those "suffering" with me in army. my company is pretty good sonsidering there are just too many ac pl there.. Jonk, zhou li, brian, daniel seet, jiade and the list just goes on.. but except jonk, i aint really close to anyone.. its so hard to train your arse off the whole day and then come to ur bunk to see your phone and be reminded you have no smses and no one who nees to anyway and it all hits you that you are a useless soldier in the infantry and you will have no freedom and fin till 208. 1 year 7 months to ORD. sigh.. there is simply so much pain for no reason that i have.. these totally unreasonable limits i set are just impossible.. all that emotion just wells up and at time i just feel so angry and just want to cry and scream. but alas. its the army. sick of regimentation and the fact that my intelligence level(any that i have) is decomposing in the army. its just fading away.. HELP.. SOS.. no reply. GOD, why me? release me from this all. let me be peaceful and calm and assured that everything works in your ways. why is everything so tough and the battle never ending? when will i get to rest? please send divine help. send some hope. anything. please send it.
-Aayush
